The rock world was reeling last night with shock at the news that sixties guitar legend Jimi Hendrix, thought to have died in 1970, is alive and well in Carlisle
The story first came to light when van driver and heavy metal fan Will Roberts stopped to make a call at the Chikpan frozen chicken plant in the town. He says "I noticed this tall skinny guy working working near the office when I went in. He looked familiar and thats when it hit me... He was Jimi Hendrix"
Wilf told his friends in the pub last night but most laughed off the story. The following day armed with an album cover he returned to Chikpan.
"CHARLIE"
He discovered that Hendrix is known by his workmates as "Charlie" and has been working at the plant for eleven years.
Hendrix, or "Charlie" refused to answer questions and called a supervisor when Wilf confronted him, with the sleeve from his 1968 masterpiece "Electric Ladyland". The supervisor threatened Wilf with the police if he did not leave, Wilf left and called us.
DOORSTEP
We tracked the rock legend to his home in Boston Avenue and cofronted him on the doorstep. Once more he refused to co-operate and went as far as to deny all knowledge of classic hits suck as "Purple Haze" an "All along the watch tower". He claimed never to have visited the Isle of Wight or Woodstock, the scenes of two of his greatest performances.
EVIDENCE
But we can reveal exclusive and stunning evidence and proves that Charlie and Hendrix are the same person. Workmates we talked to reveal that the celebrity in their midsts refuses to talk about his past and simply claims to have come from Guyana to London in the early seventies. Most conclusive of all is the fact that "Charlie" has unusually long fingers and seems to have incredible strength in his hands.
GIBLETS
As one workmate who wishes to remain anonymous told us, "Iv'e never seen hands like them. He can rip the Giblets out of a chicken in two seconds flat. He just sticks his fingers all the way in, gives his hand a twist and pulls the lot out, It's amazing"
COVER UP
Reports coming from the planet even as this story is going to press suggest that there is a good deal being covered up. Cheif accountant for Chikpan , David O'Brien bears more then a passing resemblance to Buddly Holly and a greying, lankey figure in quality control proves, on close inspection, to be a dead ringer for the late Jim Reeves.
SPOKESMAN
A spokesman for Chikpan re-fused to discuss the case with us. He pointed out that it was not company policy to employ dead rock idols. However, he did not wish to answer questions based on the evidence that we have gathered.
iateamexican
I told you, its shit.
DeadBolt
NO, NONONONONO, NO THANK YOU PLUZ.